This year, I’m on fire. Can’t tell you why, although, you probably know it’s because I’m too much awesome for mediocracy. Yesterday, I got a bunch of hate mail for the local models ugly-ass comments, which I could care less for, so here’s a vid for you haters.
All dressed up, and, well -- that's about all.
I’d like to clarify, the Valley has not one professional model in its midst (like saying, there’s one rose-scented ass-hole somewhere). Anyway, I’m going through some myspace bulletins today and ran into a tid-bit from the Monitor’s Festiva:
We’re holding a contest for the hottest model in the Valley. We’re collecting entries right now, next month we’ll have a reader vote, and the winner will appear on the cover of Festiva…
Wow, on the cover of Festiva, when does the pageantry end? I wonder how it would be to work at the Monitor. I probably would steal ideas from locals with no money, then get fucked on some cocaine, then wonder around belligerent spitting things like, “that’s just capital.” Then put out a press release for helpless ass-ugly attention-whores who want to strut around in their panties for money. Where the hell did they get these tails from anyways? I am convinced that they are rejects from the canceled George Lopez casting call years back.
For one, the Valley doesn’t have hot models, and if it did, they’re hanging out at MagX. Sure, there are some prissy things out and about in the Valley but have you seen their muscle mass? Those cunts couldn’t jack off a cockroach, much less a grown human. Then, you’re left to wonder, why not girl-on-girl action? But I tell you, these bitches are so high maintanance that they’ll wipe after a each lick and cry saying shit like, “Oh, I had sex with three guys last night! I don’t want you to think I’m a slut.” Then I unzip and say, “What? I didn’t pull it out for air.”
I used to love this show when I was a child, in this edited clip, the cartoon teaches about the economy…anyone that watched this show is probably well into their 20’s but I’m not. I’m in my 30’s. That’s why I like reading novels, taking long walks on the beach, finding new spots on my body, and having sex with paid prostitutes. Being an adult is sooo cool. Oh yeah, are we arresting Bush and his fellow architects of war, looting and plunder after they leave office?
Here we have VPILF, Sarah Palin in a classic one-piece by who-the-fuck-cares at the 1984 Miss Alaska beauty show. Frankly it’s disturbing, those shoes don’t match with her one-piece. How the fuck are foreigners going to know the USA has style when she’s obviously color blind. DO YOU WANT SOME COLOR BLIND VICE PRESIDENT? I’m not hating, but will she even know what the red phone looks like?
Keen Commentary
This past couple of weeks have been crazy for me. Because of said fact, I haven’t updated information on this site as much as it needs for your daily enjoyment. Alas, it wont always be like this. I will again speak of what’s on my mind and provide those updates that my two readers frequent. But who am I kidding? It’s Friday! It’s time to have some fun! Weeeeeeeee.
A cool thing that has been going on is that I have begun to perform again. This can be a problem because this site is made for supporting the entire scene and not my mindless self-promotional bullshit. Sure, I’ve been guilty of it in the past, but it was small token events that still helped others. This, however, affects only me and mine and not all others, so there’s no sense in busting where the busting don’t belong.
Don’t forget, when you’re out listening to some live music, don’t be a shit and tip the band, they work damn hard for it.
Anyone have some good weekend jokes? Weeeeeeeeeee
I don’t ususally post shit on the weekend, but what the hell?!
I’m not talking about the hurricanes, I’m talking about the sex-appeal that has hit the road to the White House. Fortunately for us all, people that look for scandals in all the right places have found one. The scandals started early with the newly announced running mate for John McCain. The main one is, her 17-year-old daughter, Bristol Palin, is preggers.
Mommy Palin, Daddy Palin, and "It's OK, I'm on the pill" Palin
Why not? I mean, would you pull out? Pervert. Here’s an image of mommy, daddy, and, um, daughter. Now I can picture all sorts of things said between the Bristol and Levi Johnston (the dad to be - myspace page here), and, like from time to time, here are the top ten things that can be imaged about what could have been possibly said between parties…that’s if he’s even the father.
10 Things Bristol Palin could have said before becoming pregnant.
10. “That feels sooo good. I don’t think we need the condom.”
9. “It’s OK, I’m on the pill.”
8. “Oh, don’t stop! Oh, yeah! Shit, Willow go back to your room! Damn, it’s like she’s seeking the child of prophecy that will ruin the Queen.”
7. “If anyone found out, they’d kill us! We’d have to get married or something.”
6. “No! Don’t get soft, I wont talk about us getting married - again.”
5. “…it’s cool, mom wont be back for another week.”
4. “No…you’re the first. Those were all rumors.”
3. “I wish this could last forever. Get off of me, dad just got home.”
2. “Do you think I’m fat? I gained some weight after the pill.”
1. “Mommy says this tummy will go away when I loose my baby fat.”
So which ass do you prefer kicking first? I noticed there are movements in lifestyles (if you will) that have others chilled to the bone. Why? Because it is an insufferable idea that these two types actually come from the same species. Intolerance, hate, or whatever the media would call it to suffice the normal viewer - here at Tenet Community are taking a real, hard look at what is worse, being Emo or being Guido. A couple of searches on the Urban Dictionary and found the following for the two genres. Read more.
Perhaps the worst movie review ever and Lucas censors it.
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Right now it’s too early for banter and I’m too wrung out for anything remotely witty. I think the Olympics in Communist China are going on right now. I don’t really care fore China. They’re not Capitalists, no matter what they think. I’m not a Capitalist, I don’t care what anyone else says. My dog slept on my t-shirt last night - I’m not wearing that t-shirt right now. I’m reminded of something else but I can’t recall. Shit… here are some links.
BMW M1 Concept (2008) (Go)
A local Beijing paper has revealed that some of the amazing fireworks in the Olympics opening show were digitally-crafted fakes, inserted into the live TV feed. (Go)
Fred Rogers’ stolen car was returned in 48 hours with an apology note (Go)
Please don’t waste my fucking time with endless emails. These are plain old cinderblocks, for fuck sake. (Go)
Blackwater USA now a private CIA (Go)
Wal-Mart warns of Democratic win (Go)
OK, that’s the International Space Station. OK, that’s NASA’s shuttle. WTF is that?! (Go)
I’d like to, like, have, like, better grades (Go)
Star Trek rap (Go)
Concert venues from Hell (Go)
16-year-old boy rips off sex-offenders (Go)
Quirky zoo signs (Go)
Son o'bitch, this is fun!
This morning I’m surfing the net and find this one Web site called WebsiteOutlook which is a perfect place for website valuation. A buyer or Seller can get complete information about website which he/she want to buy or sell.
I typed in Tenet Community’s information and found that it’s valued over $6 thousand if someone, like–let’s say–a local newspaper, wanted to buy me out. I wouldn’t sell - unless it was about $100 thousand, AND, with a stipulation in the contract that would keep the format relatively the same. Sure I wouldn’t be able to make another similar Web site due to the contract, but at least I can go into the Adult Web site industry - they make a fucking ton of cash.
I digress. I wouldn’t sell this Web site, after all - how else will I spend hundreds of dollars per year keeping me in poverty? I could spend it on something worth while but here I provide a free community services - assuming more than two readers visit within the week.
Per WebsiteOutlook, Tenet Community receives a total of over 2 thousand hits daily. Which puts Tenet Community just under the local radio station (q945rocks.com, Net Worth: $8343.9) at just over 3 thousand hits daily, which is pathetic. Their Web site sucks! Eat dick Q, eat big fat dick! Now that’s not to say that all of those visits are unique visitors which is much smaller for both parties in this comparison. Read more.
Much love to all things Morgan Freeman, but, this is a bit too much. Why doesn’t he run for president? He was in headlines with the presidential hopeful, the Anthax dude (not the band), and featured on a bunch of other news outlets. Here are ten sites I found that had a story or gossip column about this, eh, event AND analysis of a person that would visit that site.
Man, this is pointless, enjoy! Read more.
This images was found using keyword “OOPS”. (0)
I have finally transferred all the photos from various locations here. These are just about all the images that have been posted over the past year or so. Enjoy. Read more.
As I was watching TV, I ran into a show that featured Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife, whatever-her-name-is. She walked in to a room where her nephew and his friends were checking out her “old” Playboy magazine pictoral. As she had, “the talk” with him, I wondered how it would have been if the conversation was completely honest. Read more.
